Feminism

Change The Game

As I was scrolling through Twitter one evening, a post from hockey legend Kate Richardson-Walsh caught my eye, in particular, the accompanying hashtag #ChangeTheGame. It turned out that it was a new initiative launched that evening by the BBC to promote and broadcast women’s sport, and I’ll be honest, I cried a little bit.

I watched the video with it’s reimagining of Rudyard Kipling’s poem ‘If’, and I was transported back to all those summers when I was glued to the television watching the Olympics, seeing Kelly Holmes get her double gold in Athens and screaming with glee when GB got their hockey gold at the Rio Olympics and all the PE lessons and sports clubs I got to be part of. It felt like women’s sport was finally being recognised for the powerhouse that it is.

I have always loved sport, whether that was practising my bowling for rounders by drawing a target on the side of our house (much to my mum’s annoyance), playing badminton with my friends every Monday all through our GCSEs, the hockey I still play now or the dodgeball in the sports hall when it was the end of term or raining just a bit too much. I have always found it to be a joyous thing, whether you’re learning a new dance routine in the middle of a field dressed all in pink and singing ‘Baby Shark’, or coming together after someone has been injured to cheer them up and check they’re alright. There is always something good that comes out of it – unless of course you’re the one now sitting on the bench with an ice pack.

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As with anything that promotes women’s sport, there were the usual comments about how it “isn’t as good as the men’s”, how “it’s only because the BBC can’t afford to show the good sports” or that “everything will suck except for Wimbledon”, but do you know what, who cares about those comments? The fact that thousands of women and girls and men and boys will get the opportunity to watch some fantastic sport proves that we’re winning the argument.

A terrifying percentage of girls stop participating in sport once they reach puberty which can have huge impacts on their mental and physical wellbeing as well as narrowing their options in life. Even if they catch one game, one match this summer and hopefully beyond that, it might just encourage them to keep going, to find a new sport they love where they can make friends and feel empowered.

I understand that sport isn’t for everyone, in fact, some people actively avoid it like the plague but it can be such a powerful thing, whether you’re running by yourself, playing in a team or watching on TV. We saw the hype that developed last year with the Men’s Football World Cup; how it managed to bring everyone together, and excitement and anticipation hummed through the air, especially at a time when everything feels so fractured in our society. We have the opportunity to recreate that this summer with the Women’s Football World Cup, which began on the 7th June, or the Netball World Cup, the Ashes, or the World Para Athletics Championships. Hopefully, there will be something for you to enjoy and maybe even get involved with.

Useful Links if you’re looking to get involved:

https://parasport.org.uk/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/get-inspired/25416779

 

Words and image by Eleanor Manley for Anthem Online.

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Feminism 101

Here’s the situation, for anyone who is unclear: if you don’t believe a person should be discriminated against because of the way they were born, and later how they wish to align on the spectrum of gender, then you are a feminist. I’m very sorry, the doctors did the best they could. If you think it kind of sucks that women are frequently treated as incapable of certain skills or jobs because they are women, then you are a feminist. If you think it sucks that men aren’t ‘allowed’ to like pink and talk about their feelings and hate sport, then damn, you’re a feminist.

I appreciate this seems basic, and feminism can become incredibly complex, and has developed so much in quite a short space of time, but ultimately the idea behind feminism is that people should not be discriminated against because of their sex and that people should have equal social, political and economic rights. So that’s where it’s simple. If you agree, then that’s that. Don’t say you believe men and women should be equal but that you’re not a feminist. Stop it. Just stop, it’s pants. Feminism is not extreme. It’s really quite sensible.

I think a lot of the confusion and urge to not identify as a feminist might come from the fact that discussions around it are always so academic and inaccessible for the average person. It’s partly why I started Anthem and I think it’s such a shame that we’re not taking more time to help people when we are able to. So I’ve written up a bit of a glossary for you to refer to when the conversations you want to be a part of aren’t making sense.

Feminism: A movement aiming to achieve equality between the sexes

Misogyny: Hatred toward/prejudice against women 

Misandry: Hatred toward/prejudice against men

Misogynoir: Misogyny directed at black women in particular

Cisgender: If your gender matches the sex you were born at birth then you’re cisgender, or cis for short. I was born a female (sex) and identify as a female (gender). I’m cis.

Intersectional feminism: A movement that builds other issues such as racism, classism, transphobia, homophobia or ableism into it’s path to achieving the equality of the sexes. Intersectional feminism accepts that some struggle more than others on the way to equality, and are disadvantaged by our existing society for more reasons than just being a woman (i.e. it is harder to be a black, disabled woman or a trans woman than it is to be a cis white woman in our current society).

White feminism: This isn’t used to label all white feminists (confusingly), but to address a kind of feminism that only focuses on cis white feminist issues and tends to ignore issues faced by other races. In some cases, it has refused to accept that non-white women face greater struggles than white feminists. It’s sort of the opposite of intersectional feminism and has increasingly been used as a negative label in online discussions (for good reason).

#MeToo: Quite simply, a movement against sexual harassment and assault in all forms. Popularised by celebrities such as Rose McGowan and Natalie Portman, #MeToo began around this time last year and was started by Tarana Burke as a social media movement to show just how widespread the issues were in the world. In light of big Hollywood sexual harassment and assault cases, anybody could and can use #MeToo to express their own experiences and help others feel confident to share their stories. 

Time’s Up: Started on the back of #MeToo, the Time’s Up movement was founded at the beginning of 2018 to fight sexual harassment and assault. Time’s Up saw celebrities wearing all black to the Golden Globes and, as a movement, focuses largely on issues within studio and talent agencies as well as offering legal support to lower-income women who have faced sexual harassment or assault in the workplace. 

Gendered: If something is gendered, it relates to one specific gender. For example, gendered marketing means products might be marketed specifically to women or men (for absolutely no reason; go look up some traditionally feminine or masculine fragrance adverts and you’ll see what we mean). You can also have gendered occupations, which tend to be more female than male, such as waitress, barmaid, tea lady, lunch lady etc etc. 

Glass ceiling: A metaphor relating to the unseen barrier preventing certain groups of people climbing career ladders. Although most frequently referred to in discussions about women, it is also a barrier for people of different ethnicities, sexualities or with disabilities. It’s pretty bad for everyone (unless you are a cis white male).

Gender pay gap: The average difference between the money or wage paid to men and women, with women generally earning less than men (for the reason that they are women, which is sex-based discrimination and thus a LOAD OF RUBBISH).

Gendered stereotypes: Thinking back to stuff being gendered, gendered stereotypes suggest that people should be a certain way because of their gender. It’s where we think of things as typically masculine or feminine. For example, assuming girls like pink and boys like blue are stereotypes based on gender. These stereotypes can become harmful when they limit what men and women are able to do.

Toxic masculinity: An example of harmful gender stereotypes relating specifically to men and male behaviours. Most often it refers to the idea that men have to be these very masculine, dominant, alpha male type beings that can’t show emotion. It’s very damaging and has had a serious impact on male mental health. 

Feminazi: A derogatory slur used to refer to radical feminists, popular among conservatives and idiots who can’t be bothered to learn about feminism.

Hopefully, this helps you. You do not need to be able to use these words to have or to join a discussion about feminism but it will help just to understand what they mean and what people are talking about.

Unfortunately, feminism remains a difficult-to-access movement for many and it often gets caught up in moving forward, and not stopping to help people up on the way. Feminism is for everybody, and understanding a couple of words from the above list is huge. You can be a great support if you can stop people and say ‘hang on, that’s not right and here’s why’ because the more people that join in, the less of a problem sexism and other forms of discrimination become. 

Feminism and the politics surrounding discrimination continue to be a hot topic that the news love to sensationalise, so it is incredibly useful to know what these things mean. It’s not just about being able to support one cause, but also about learning to think for yourself. It is absolutely vital to be able to formulate your own opinions and ideas so that you can stand up for yourself and others, particularly in today’s slightly odd world.

 

Words by Briony Brake for Anthem Online.

Wellbeing and Winter

For a lot of us, it can be difficult to feel on top form during the colder months. Even if you are a winter fanatic, love all things Christmassy and get excited about what comes with the new year, it can still be difficult to manage wellness on cold and gloomy days. So, in anticipation of the winter blues/January blues/Monday blues/basically any unwanted blueness, I’ve worked up a checklist of things to help prioritise our wellbeing this winter.*

((*Note: This article isn’t medical advice. If you’re looking for more specific mental health material – check out the links at the end!))

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Diet and Nutrients

No, I’m not going to tell you to chuck out all the Christmas choccies! This isn’t about having an immaculate diet; what I suggest here is just keeping a mental note of when you last said ‘Hi’ to some fruit and veg. As we head into December and beyond, it can be tricky to keep on top of doing a healthy food shop – especially when there are so many tempting treats. Indulgence is fun, especially in the festive period, but do make sure to balance it out.

Our digestive system and brain are linked by the vagus nerve, and long story short (and all science averted because I don’t really get it), what we eat contributes to how we think and feel. As good old Saint Nick gets ready to do the rounds, by all means, head to the Quality Street! The praline triangles aren’t going to steal themselves. But remember to get in those greens and some vitamin C too. Similarly, because we lack so much sunlight during this time of year, if you’re someone who gets particularly down in the darker months, it could be worth picking up some vitamin D as well!

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Exercise

NO GYM REQUIRED. Fear not- this isn’t a you-must-start-a-spinning-class-and-go-to-boxercise-every-day article. Just get out and about. It doesn’t have to be a lot and it doesn’t have to be the same thing each time. In fact – the more variety the better. If you’re someone who likes exercise or sport then fab! Doing what you enjoy is a great way to get out of the house. It can be gross to go into *nature* when it’s cold and wet and windy, but when the weather is relatively calm, jump at the chance to go out and explore. Anything from a quick stroll to a little micro adventure to a local park.

Remember the Vitamin D we talked about earlier – making the most of the daylight hours is key when it is of limited availability. If you have a hobby that you can adapt to doing outside then use it as an excuse for a change of scenery. For example, photography or other artistic pursuits are a great way to explore outside and get some exercise in at the same time.

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The Power of Plants

There’s a lot of research to show that plants can have a positive effect on us. Having some greenery or flowers around the place can be a mood booster. Equally, having to care for a plant reminds us to care for ourselves. When we’re watering or feeding the plants, and making sure they get enough sunlight, it’s a casual reminder to make sure we pay attention to our own needs. Caring for something else and having that small responsibility with plants can also make us feel good and remind us that we are accomplishing things even if they’re small. (Also, they look really cute!!) 

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Another thing about FOOD

If you’re someone (like me) who finds it a drag to prepare food when your wellbeing isn’t amazing, here are some ideas. Find foods that minimise prep time and are good for you. For instance, yoghurts require zero effort and can be eaten whenever. Also, consider fresh veg and fruit that is in season and doesn’t need a lot of intervention. (And when you do feel like making stuff, stews are great, because they use all the in-season veg, you just leave the pot to do its thing, and you can freeze portions for ages.) Lastly, meal replacement powders (not weight-loss ones – just complete nutrient ones) could also be a solution for some people – I find them handy when my work schedule is a bit crazy or if I don’t have the energy for a big food shop.

In the new year, when everyone’s insisting they’ll start going to the gym, hating going back to work, and remembering how cold February is, this can all be handy to remember. Having quick fix food around that is not just junk food makes it much easier to look after yourself.

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Reach out!

We shouldn’t leave it until we’re actually feeling unwell or not taking care of ourselves to reach out to others. Make sure you check in with your loved ones over the winter period. This can be especially important if you live away from the rest of your family or are a university student away for the holidays. Reach out to close friends and make an effort to get together, or at least call for a catch-up.

Socialising can be difficult to organise over the Christmas period when people can be quite busy and public transport ceases to function, but come the new year when everyone’s aligning themselves with the ‘normal,’ it’s really important to make sure you’re maintaining those connections with people.

Depending on individual needs, doing what you love either solo or sharing it with friends can give you some well-needed space to relax – which does wonders for wellbeing.

Remember not to put your wellbeing on hold just because normality gets a bit suspended during Christmas and New Year, and opportunities to get out and about can seem to dwindle during winter as a whole. When considering your self-care regime, factor both your physical and mental wellness into it!

 

I hope this gets the ball rolling with some ideas you can utilise for maintaining wellbeing this winter. Below are some further sources of wellbeing advice, and also more distinct mental health resources:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/wellbeing/#.W_24Yq2cbPA
https://www.wellbeingnands.co.uk
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/improve-mental-wellbeing/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/what-wellbeing-how-can-we-measure-it-and-how-can-we-support-people-improve-it
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/things-to-do-this-weekend-to-boost-your-mental-wellbeing_uk_5bd2d714e4b0a8f17ef6413f?utm_hp_ref=uk-wellbeing
 

Words by Lauren Barnard for Anthem Online.
Images from Be Brain Fit, Mental Health Zen, Garden Collage, The Best Brain Possible and Practice Business.

Why I’ve Stopped Using Tampons and Pads

I’ve recently been making a few lifestyle changes in order to reduce my carbon footprint (and also feel a bit better about myself). You know, becoming vegetarian, cutting down on dairy, buying reusable cups and bottles, switching to cruelty-free. That kind of thing. My latest endeavour has led me down the path of the menstrual cup. I hadn’t heard of it either until a few months ago.

Turns out they’ve been around since 1937 when actress Leona Chalmers invented a silicone cup designed as a long-lasting, environmentally friendly and cost-effective alternative to tampons. You basically have to origami it up into your vagina where it stays in place via suction and catches the blood flow before it leaves your body. You can keep them in all day, and when you do take it out you just empty it and reinsert it for the next 8-12 hours. Sounded great! So I thought I’d give you an insight into my experience learning to use one…

The one I have actually been using is a Mooncup from Boots – but there are other brands available all with slightly different shapes and materials. However, across brands they range in two sizes based on whether or not you’ve had a baby and your age. Mooncup came with a little cotton bag or carry case to keep your cup in – no more worrying about carrying around supplies or running to the bathroom with a tampon stuffed into the waistband of your skirt (you know we’ve all done it).

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So after two weeks of actually looking forward to my period arriving, I was eager to try out the cup. I cut the stem on the bottom to size (better to start longer than shorter as I found mine sits quite high inside me and a longer stem makes it easier to grab onto when you need to remove it). First attempt and I managed to get it in after a few goes. If it’s in properly you can’t feel it. It works by creating a vacuum seal so it stays in place, so in theory, you can’t leak. Trouble is, even if the seal isn’t formed properly, you still can’t feel it. Naively I assumed it was in properly and left for work. First toilet trip of the day and I’ll spare you the detail (but I hadn’t put it in correctly).

Taking it out for the first few times also proved an absolute nightmare. During my first trial with the cup, I was convinced I’d lost it – even though that is literally and physically impossible. Images of turning up at A&E telling them I had a retained menstrual cup flashed in front of my eyes, and I was already mentally preparing the phone call with a trusted friend to come round with forceps and a flashlight to fish it out. I fully panicked. After consulting the girls on the group chat (we’ve spoken about much worse on there) I ended up lying down in the bath, telling my body to relax whilst also using my abdominals to squeeze it down until I managed to extract the cup. Traumatically messy to say the least.

Although that’s the worst experience I had with it and it only happened once so don’t let that put you off! Once I had worked out how to get it in properly I felt safe using it for sports, swimming, throughout the day at work and overnight. The beauty of being able to keep it in for so long means that despite the cramps (which I think lessened using the Mooncup) you almost forget you’re on your period.

One thing I have learnt is that you have to be VERY comfortable with your own body in order to feel it being put in place and to get the hang of it. It takes a few months to get used to but for me its great. I don’t have to worry about carrying stuff around with me, I only have to think about it twice a day when I empty it, I SWEAR my cramps have become less intense (or maybe that’s just psychological) and I feel like I’ve cut down on landfill waste as it’s a much more cost-effective and sustainable option.

It’s pretty easy to clean as well; I bought some sterilisation tablets and you can just soak it in water or boil it in a saucepan for 5 minutes. Don’t get me wrong, there are still days when I struggle with it, and ending up with blood all over your hands is pretty much inevitable – but then I always change it at home in the bathroom so it’s easy to deal with that. If you can get past the first few months it’s a pretty cool product.

For more information see:
https://www.mooncup.co.uk/
https://www.intimina.com/en/lily_cups
http://divacup.com/

 

Words: Sophy Edmunds
Image: Mooncup/Boots via Stella.ie 

 

UT-WHY?

Thanks to people like Caitlin Moran, I knew about cystitis long before it turned up to put a dampener (as it were) on my day. She talked about it in public, in columns in The Times. There’s a lengthy passage in How To Build a Girl where the character Johanna locks herself in the bathroom, sits in a hot bath for two days and demands cranberry juice. If it wasn’t for old Caitlin, a whole generation of girls wouldn’t know why, sometimes, it appeared that their urethra was on fire.

For those who might still be unaware, A urinary tract infection (or UTI) is basically an infection in any part of your urinary tract, including your bladder, urethra and kidneys.

They began to plague me and my life about a year ago. I once moved the entire set for a play whilst feeling like I needed to piss every other minute and I consider it my greatest achievement.

“Well are you weeing after sex?” a friend asked me when I went to meet her on the way to uni, moaning about my urinary tract once more.

“In a way, every wee is a wee after sex now.” I answered.

“You get UTI’s if you don’t wee after sex.”

You… you what? You get them if you don’t… but then…

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS! WHY HAVE I BEEN DOWNING GALLONS OF WATER AND CRYING ON THE TOILET WHEN THE CURE WAS THIS SIMPLE?!

I looked on the NHS website. It’s true. Pee as soon as possible after sex (and also wear loose cotton underwear but that’s for another article about how women’s clothes aren’t really built for women). I’m not a complete idiot. I went to the doctors. I did a urine sample, but then wasn’t really sure of the protocol so had to sit in the waiting room holding a warm cup of my own piss for an uncomfortable amount of time. She gave me antibiotics, I took them, few weeks later, I was UTI-ed up once more. I assumed this would be my life now.

I was never taught about this at school; like I said I gleaned what I could from Caitlin Moran, but not every 15 year old is reading The Times on a Saturday afternoon. I don’t want to exaggerate here but learning that I should wee after sex if I don’t want to piss fire for the next three days was one of the most important life lessons I’ve ever learnt so WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO LEARN IT? My sex education focused so much on me not getting pregnant, and the intricacies of every STI under the sun that keeping my vagina healthy and unhappy went rather neglected. You’d think the sex ed teacher, faced with 27 teenage girls, on the cusp of their sexual adventures and ready to face the world vagina first, might have thought to mention it.

“Pee after sex so you don’t get a UTI.” It takes 2.5 seconds to say. I just checked.

Ways to not get a UTI:

  • WEE AFTER SEX
  • It’s bad to use perfumed bubble bath or soap on your lovely lady garden (your vag has a delicate pH balance)
  • Nylon pants aren’t good
  • If you need to wee, don’t hold it in, FREE THE WEE

 

Words: Sian Brett
For September Sex Education Week 2018 on Anthem

The Body Diaries with Briony

With this project, I’m entering a very messy area in which everyone struggles; some of my favourite feminist outlets still can’t write articles about being fat or big without slamming someone thin. That’s not how it works. If someone discriminates against an actress for being ‘curvy’ or ‘plus size’, you can and should oppose this and say that a person’s weight has nothing to do with their ability or talent, because it doesn’t! But you cannot and should not oppose this by praising her for not being thin or for being different to all those other skinny models on the scene.

Although it encompasses it, body positivity does not just mean fat positivity. It means body positivity... for all bodies. Don’t judge or discriminate based on someone’s weight or skin colour or height or hair colour or cup size, and above all, do not pit women against each other. If you do, and you claim that you are body positive, then I feel I should let you know that actually, you are not. (Did I mention this was a messy area? I mean I’m barely scratching the surface, gang).

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Let’s get into it. Personally, people I know have called me slim, and I probably am. I have also been called curvy, but I’m probably not. I’m not exactly big or small, and although I would like to be smaller in my waist and arms and thighs (look at those ideals go!), my weight is not really my biggest problem. My lovely friends would likely question why I am writing about bodies when I’m totally fine, but believe it or not, that’s also not how this works.

Most of the world is insecure in their looks, and you don’t have to be a genius at this point to know how much the media and advertising and outdated gendered (masculine and feminine) ideals have impacted that. So pretty much everyone I’ve ever met hates something about themselves and as terrible as that is, the one thing most likely to change that is the very knowledge that everyone is insecure and feels bad about their looks in one way or another. If we’re all in the same boat, there’s better odds at compassion and changing attitudes.

Me personally, I hate a lot of things about myself. In the first draft of this article, I listed out everything I hated and upon reading it back, I felt the most ungrateful I’ve ever felt and deleted it. It’s so hard to talk about because you’re often seen as just phishing for compliments or complaining and it’s practically common knowledge at this point that comparison is the devil.

It is near impossible to condemn a beauty ideal when people exist who present that beauty ideal and look the way you ‘should’. It’s a double edged competition between women (and truthfully, the rest of the world) to look better and to look worse; ‘She’s got better eyebrows so I need to improve mine’, opposed by ‘I look like shit’ and ‘No, I look worse, look at my eye bags’. It goes on, and it all sucks.

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It’s no secret that low self confidence is key to the beauty industry; if we feel good about ourselves, we’re not going to buy things to ‘fix’ ourselves. What would they sell to me if I felt happy with the way I looked? So how do you feel better about yourself when magazines and an entire retail trade industry is willing you to think otherwise? Honestly, I don’t know. If I added up all the time I spent looking at my face in the mirror and closely examining my pores and spots and freckles in my lifetime, it would probably be enough time to have mastered a new skill or language. Just think, I’d be able to say more than ‘Hello, I have bread’ in German. Amazing.

I don’t think there is a secret. I don’t think it’s helpful to tell people that it’s a state of mind. When 1/4 of people in the UK suffer from poor mental health which is frequently linked to body dysmorphia and appetite problems and a general self loathing, how is it at all useful to tell people that happiness and self confidence is a state of mind? I like to think that I’m pretty blasé about my weight and appearance but of course I care, and now that I’m experiencing problems with my skin (shout-out to my stress eczema pals!), I really really care.

I saw a photo of myself the other day that I absolutely hated. I zoomed in on my face – naturally – and looked at my eyes and mouth and just zoomed back out and resolved not to look at the picture again because I hated it so much. ‘Is that really what I look like?’ I thought. I immediately thought about taking up exercise again to get rid of what is realistically a pretty small amount of fat. I considered never wearing that outfit ever again. It’s a natural photo where everyone looks genuinely happy but I absolutely hate it and I shouldn’t.

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Earlier this year I started to suffer from very dry skin which turned into me trying every moisturiser and steroid cream and wash and soap you can feasibly buy. It started in March when it was freezing but I seem to have maintained it through my thoroughly poor handle on day to day stress. In April I stopped wearing makeup because washing my face hurt too much. I haven’t worn makeup in over 4 months and I sit at my desk rubbing a weird white cream into my hands every time I wash my hands and I have red marks on my hands that have only managed to make me cry in the work loos once – so take that, eczema! I’m getting patch tested in November and have yet another new product and new prescription to try in the meantime.

It’s all shit and there’s no other way of talking about it. It sucks. Let me tell you, getting stressed about a stress created illness not going away and then making it worse because you’re stressed… it ain’t fun. So I’m not one of the wonderful humans who actually feel wonderful in who they are look-wise. I wish I was and maybe I will be many years down the line, but for now I’m trying to navigate my body and make it work for me.

 

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What can we do to make us appreciate how excellent it is to even have a body, despite anything we might consider to be ‘wrong with it’? Because comparison isn’t a consideration here. Really, it isn’t. None of this ‘I should be grateful I have legs that work and both my arms’ or some shit, because of course you should be but number one – people who don’t have those things are still valid and might even be more confident in their own body than you are(!) and number two – you need to be more than just grateful that you have a body that’s doing it’s best to look after you.

I know I can’t tell you all to just start forgetting everything you’ve ever been told by everyone because you’ll want to hit me. We do, however, need to start paying more attention to ourselves. It’s not selfish, it’s vital. Pay attention to who you are, and dress accordingly. This doesn’t mean don’t wear v-necks if you’re flat chested or crop tops if you’re bigger than a certain size, it means wear bright colours if you’re a bold and bright person, wear trousers if you hate skirts, cut your hair off if you hate it. All that ‘your body is a canvas’ may seem like rubbish but there’s truth to it. If you want to feel at home in your body, then turn your body into that home.

The key to it all is how you feel about it. If something makes you feel good and you like how you look then keep going. If you feel uncomfortable and you feel like you’re not representing yourself then try something else. I’m immensely open to people choosing things for me, because they have a less biased view of me. Some of my favourite items of clothing were gifts I had no part in choosing. Equally, talking to people really helps. 9/10 times I’ve told someone ‘my skin is really bad’ or ‘I look really tired’ or whatever stupid thing it is, they’ve said that they didn’t notice. They never notice. They aren’t trying to look for the bad in you.

Another thing you can do is to curate your social feeds. If you are following people promoting diet culture or who offer false confidence then maybe consider replacing them with more friends, body positive creators or a miniature dachshund account. That last one always works wonders for me. Your social media absolutely should not make you feel bad. You are in control of it and can make it feel like a safe and welcoming space for you when you need it.

For now that’s all I have for you. This is such a difficult topic to tip toe around because the way we’ve been socialised to see the world means we think things we don’t always realise are exclusionary or rude. Everyone matters and everyone’s body is just fine as it is. So stop thinking about everyone else for a minute, and look out for yourself. I’ll see you all back here for another Body Diaries entry in a month or so, but for now please enjoy the rest of September Sex Education Week and take care.

 

Words: Briony Brake
Images: Briony Brake
Written for September Sex Education Week 2018 on Anthem Online

September Sex Education Week 2018: Welcome Back

For some reason, a proper sex education is something I’ve become very passionate about in past years. I did a short speech about it while at university, and ever since researching it and learning all the terrible statistics, I’ve become fixed on the subject.

It seems to be that the more you think about your own sex education and you talk to others about theirs, you realise you’ve learned almost everything the hard way – or haven’t even learned it yet! To be quite frank, that’s a load of rubbish.

I appreciate that it’s 2018; there’s a lot we’d like to be on the curriculum that currently isn’t, from issues of race and gender to politics and how to get a mortgage. A proper sex education deserves a spot on this list because, as I said last year when I began this project, a proper education allows people to make their own informed choices and to be safe and healthy and (god forbid!) to even have fun.

The project came to Anthem because we are all equally angry about the lack of knowledge we left school with about our own bodies, and I’m so excited to be introducing September Sex Education Week 2018. This is our second year, and as always, we want you to be involved and to feedback what you want to learn about and hear about. What do you wish you had learned?

With that thought in your mind, let’s begin. The first article will be going up tomorrow all about body image and we’ll have a series of fantastic articles coming up this week from the team here at Anthem. Make sure you’re following us on social here, here and here so you don’t miss an article! We can’t wait to share this years project with you.

Thank you for reading! We’ll be seeing you tomorrow…

Love, Briony!

 

Words: Briony Brake
For September Sex Education Week on Anthem Online