The Anthem Gift Guide for 2022

I say this every year, but I love pulling together these gift guides. I’m living the fantasy of that character in a romance book whose job is finding the perfect gift for people living in the small town she just moved to. Sort of.

As always I’ve avoided big companies and chains so everything in here is from a UK-based small business, independent maker or artist and, where I can, is something eco-conscious or Black-owned or women-owned. I hope you find something in here for your festive shopping, or at least just as a treat for yourself. It’s been a long year.

A Zine About Making Zines, £6.50 from Kristyna Baczynski

Craft kits are a great gift any time of the year; it’s not just an item but an activity. It’s something they can treat as a project over time and if they’re crafty, or like to have a creative outlet in their lives, this could be a shout. In Kristyna‘s own words, this “zine-about-zines offers insight into every stage of the self-publishing process, from generating content and zine formats, to binding, printing and distribution”. You can have a sneak peek at what’s inside here.

Silver Leaf ‘Fern’ Earrings, £23+ from Nic Danning

This business is run by a group of women in rural Cornwall, who make a point of working flexibly around their own childcare needs, and support each other in their daily lives. Their stainless steel, beaten brass and beaded earrings are nature and mythology-inspired and sit between the £20-45 range. I can think of a few people who would be excited by these fern or Pluviam pairs.

Personalised Family Recipe Plate, £27.95+ from Doodle Alley

Every time I look at this plate, I think how sweet it is. So many of the recipes and instructions we’ve passed down in families are so important to us but they’re also usually on some tatty note paper or napkin that feels a little fragile. This recipe plate allows your loved one’s handwriting (and maybe some funky spelling) to be transferred and immortalised in your kitchen. It’s such a lovely idea to me and I know I’d love to see some of my grandparents’ recipes made permanent like this.

Heart Shaped Soy Wax Candle, £4.95+ from Le Bon Candles

I hope the pastel home decor trend never dies. Whether the candle lovers in your life are into flowers, shells or hearts, Le Bon Candles have it all. Based in Liverpool, these cruelty-free, vegan and eco-friendly soy wax candles come in all shapes, sizes, colours and scents. If your gift recipient isn’t much into pastel pink, they also stock neutral shades, a Christmas collection and classic jar candles with an astrological twist!

Books Embroidered Unisex T-Shirt, £22 from Border Rose Designs

I’m always on the lookout for locally embroidered tees and jumpers and this festive season, I’m happy to share I’ve found us all a new store that does just that. Border Rose creates subtle fandom and bookish clothing, and uses 100% recyclable packaging! They have me covered with Jane Austen and Mamma Mia! products but they also stock musical, Marvel and Greek Goddess-inspired designs. This unisex Books tee feels like an easy win!

Reflective Unisex Headband, £25 from Pluck’d Designs

Not to complain about the weather but for all of us Brits, it’s now pitch black outside 90% of the time. That sucks. But it’s bearable unless you’re out running or cycling or exercising in the dark. Pluck’d create gloves, hats and other accessories that are reflective as well as warm. The items were designed with city-dwellers in mind but their reflective accessories will allow any wearer to be seen and safe at night while remaining stylish in the daytime. A cosy headband beats a neon yellow safety vest, don’t you think?

Bestseller Candle Gift Set, £25.90 from Vegan Bunny

Are you looking for candles that are handmade, natural, vegan and eco-friendly? No problem. Vegan Bunny does literally just that. There are over 120 products in their store from scents like chai latte to ginger and lemongrass. If you can’t decide what scent your loved one would like, they sell bestseller gift sets like this one for just over £25.

Little Women Print, £11.25 from Spilt Milk Press

Nottingham-based Spilt Milk Press create beautiful illustrations inspired by film, TV and music. So if there’s a Phoebe Bridgers, Florence Pugh or Harry Styles fan in your life – stop looking. Similarly, if there’s a Little Women, Emma, You’ve Got Mail or Lady Bird fan in your life, there’s a print in this shop for them. I think they’re gorgeous illustrations and there are, in fact, too many that suit my interests for me to choose a favourite. But this Little Women one is up there.

Hanging Teardrop Wax Burner, £13.95+ from Almasea Candles

Almasea Candles hand-pour natural soy candles and wax melts from Whitstable. They also stock some items of home decor (plant pots, tealight holders etc) but these sweet little teardrop wax burners are what caught my eye. I was gifted a wax melt burner by my Mum a couple of years back for Christmas and I use it all the time. They make a great gift and will be used often by the right people. These ones come in six colours and, for an extra £3.95, can be delivered with some wax melts to get someone started.

Anthology 2023 Wall Calendar, £24 from Jade Fisher

Every year, I struggle to only include one calendar but once I found Cardiff-based Jade Fisher‘s Anthology 2023 calendar, I knew I’d found the one. As she puts it herself: “Each month features an illustrated quote from an important female figure, from singer and activist Nina Simone to adventurer Isabella L Bird and children’s book author Tove Jansson”. Find this calendar here or check out her positive-ish vibes calendar here for something different.

Illustrated Breakfast Canvas Tote, £12 from Kendall Wright

I love breakfast and I love tote bags so I might have put this item in here instead of on my personal wishlist by accident. But I’d be lying if I didn’t fancy half the stuff on this list for myself every year. Kendall Wright sells cheerfully illustrated homeware and paper goods including calendars, notepads and prints. But her totes are my favourite. She also stocks an eco-friendly cheese bag and a groceries tote bag (ideal if, like me, you’re not great at making shopping lists).

Wall Art, £12+ from NIKSSART

NIKSSART is a London-based Etsy store that stocks “Diverse Prints Showcasing All That Good Stuff”. There’s a beautiful quality to all their prints, whether it’s the above (my personal favourite) or one from their Flavours collection, there is certain to be something in their store you can gift.

Frog Embroidered Beanie Hat, £16 from Wonderful World

Wonderful World, based in Hertfordshire, has a simple mission; to show their love for the animal kingdom and mother nature. They donate money to animal charities and create vegan jumpers, beanies, t-shirts, tote bags and hoodies. They currently have over 300 products featuring all your favourite animals, from seals and bees to lobsters and cows. There’s bound to be something in their shop to make the perfect gift, and I bet this pink frog beanie is up there.

Geometric Hand-Painted Necklace, £29.99 from CeCe Finery

CeCe Finery specialises in African fashion and accessories for modern styles and hand-makes all their items, often with eco-friendly or recycled materials. They’re primarily inspired by West African culture and some of their collections, such as their bags, are absolutely stunning. Each item is bold and colourful and items like this adjustable necklace would make a great gift for that friend with the amazing jewellery collection. You know the one.

Paint Brush Rest, £6.95 from Imperial Trinkets

As a non-painter, I am both blessed and cursed to know so many painters. I think gifts like this which are small and affordable but still practical and a little fun are perfect. I can think of a few people I’d want to gift this paint-splattered paintbrush rest to. These come in over 15 colours and can also be bought to hold five brushes instead of three. They’ll be shipping to you from Norwich and donating a percentage of each sale to The Teenage Cancer Trust.

Silver Glitter Lightning Bolt Earrings, £15.99 from By Heather Filby

By Heather Filby is a one-woman brand focusing on statement earrings and accessories like hair clips and necklaces. All the items on her website are handmade in her home in Crystal Palace in London and are as wonderfully glittery as these earrings. Check out her Christmas collection for earrings shaped like trees and stars, or her Bestsellers for earrings shaped like fried eggs (you heard me).

We don’t get any commission from these links so don’t worry about that, these are all just items and brands we’ve discovered and think could make for some lovely gifts this holiday season. We’d love to know if you have any favourite independent makers we should look into. We’ve still got plenty of shopping left to do.

As always, the Anthem team wish you a very happy season and hope to see you in the new year.

Words by Briony Brake
Images from each respective seller

False Intimacy & You’ve Got Mail

“The odd thing about this form of communication is that you’re more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.”

Written and directed by Nora Ephron, You’ve Got Mail was released in 1998 and has given me comfort for most of my life. The premise of the film is simple; an independent bookshop owner named Kathleen Kelly must go head to head with the owner of a new chain bookstore opening round the corner named Joe Fox. The two hate each other. At the same time, unbeknownst to them, they go home every night and talk to one another under their chatroom pseudonyms Shop Girl and NY 152. They really like each other online.

A film about two grown adults who use dial-up and anonymous online forums to talk might sound terribly outdated and even a bit quaint, but there are elements to the film that remain relevant to this day. There’s a feeling of timelessness to the film; not just because of the romance, or because I cry at the exact same points every time I watch it but because while the modes of technology have changed, the way we use them, in our relationships at least, remain the same.

As a woman in her twenties signed up to all the social media platforms you possibly can be, I spend a lot of my time talking to people online and have done my fair share of chatting on dating apps or flirting over WhatsApp and Instagram DMs. The last time I sat in bed watching You’ve Got Mail, I realised that even through a current, more technologically-advanced lens, it still all made total sense. That tangled relationship between Kathleen and Joe on and offline is just as relevant to the dating scene now as it was in 1998.

In my mini revelation, I started to think about how the anonymous chat room form of communication used in You’ve Got Mail reflects the way we talk to prospective partners online now by sliding into the DMs of people we’ve either been on one date with or not even met yet. The more I thought about it, the more I saw the connection between this sense of false intimacy and one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time (if I may be so bold, which I can because it’s my article). 

As a concept, false intimacy essentially suggests a stronger emotion or feeling of passion toward a person that you don’t truly have – an imagined closeness. It’s become more prevalent in conversation now because of the nature of dating apps where users must begin relationships by messaging back and forth without meeting, at least until they choose to do so. Just from this, it’s possible to see Joe and Kathleen’s characters experience the same thing. They felt close as Shop Girl and NY 152 – they could talk about anything – even though in reality they knew a much different side to each other. 

So many of the things we feel now when we’re talking to others online are possible to visualise in the love story of Shop Girl and NY 152, particularly in the way they talk to friends about their mysterious online beau. There’s a wonderfully innocent delight that both Joe and Kathleen express when they log in to find new messages from each other. “You have mail” they say aloud, practically singing the words as they read what this romanticised idea of a person has to say. Equally, when Kathleen realises she may be getting in too deep and has started to develop feelings for NY 152 (we’ve all been there) she says to her colleague “It’ll be really easy for me to stop seeing him, because I’m not”. If only she knew.

Once I’d decided to delve a little deeper into the ties between the film and false intimacy, it felt so abundantly clear to me how strongly the concept played into the messy love story of Joe and Kathleen. Joe calls technology “the end of western civilisation” less than five minutes into the film and yet here we are, more than twenty years later, suffering the same pains of confused emotions when we’re navigating love and romance through our phones. 

It took me a while to find some positive outcome from this link. If we’re still fumbling around, awkwardly sending gifs and trying not to stare as someone types out their reply, then what hope do we have for the next twenty years. But I was forgetting the best bit of the whole film (and the second moment that elicits tears each time I re-watch it). 

“I wanted it to be you.”

The hopeful ending is the ending; the coming together of our four protagonists Kathleen, Shopgirl, Joe and NY 152. All the flirting and joking and the unafraid revelation of their true selves in that forum resulted in two people, who are completely human and as such very much faulted characters, who fell in love. When these two bring their online and offline selves together, they are still the same person who has fallen for someone just the same. With any luck, what Joe and Kathleen find with the confidence of their online personas, can still be found for everyone swiping and cautiously typing out cheesy chat-up lines with the hope of something a little grander.

Written by Briony Brake (originally in April 2019)
Image courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

THE ANTHEM GIFT GUIDE FOR 2021

Time has flown by so fast this year that I almost missed out on doing one of these guides in time. How has your year been? Are you looking forward to the holidays?

It starts to stress me out from mid-Autumn when I start to worry about whether or not Christmas will change at all or whether we’ll be celebrating differently, and how expensive my trains home will be (looking at you, South Western Railway). I’m very lucky to be so fond of my family and I’m a real home bird so I always love spending a lot more time with my parents and grandmothers and siblings. I’m sure, one day, change will come and I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for it but in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy it.

I love Christmas dearly. I love Christmas movies, even the very bad ones. I love Christmas music and could listen to it on repeat for two whole months and be quite happy. I love Christmas lights and shopping and getting overpriced mulled wine and chocolate-covered strawberries from markets in little wooden huts. I love decorating the tree at my Dad’s house and wearing Christmas jumpers and buying gifts. Which is what this is all about! It’s time for the 2021 gift guide and I can’t wait to get started.

This year, much like last, we’ll be looking at items from independent sellers and including as many women and Black-owned and eco-friendly businesses as we possibly can. Hope you love it!

Emerald Green & Gold Coaster, £11.95+ from ResinByRen

I had to include ResinByRen in this guide. I’ve ordered twice from her in the last year and both times, it’s been a delight and the coasters have been stunning. She creates handmade resin pieces that look like slices of agate. I love these emerald coasters but I’m also a big fan of this mandala coaster and her new quartz collection.

Daisy Mug, £26 from EnikoKovacsDesign

I am a little bit obsessed with Enikő Kovács‘ daisy collection of ceramics. In her Etsy store, she stocks mugs, bowls, soap dishes and more with this pattern and I just think they’re all so sweet. The pieces are handmade in Liverpool and so stylish. This mug is my favourite but the bud vase is also lovely.

Handmade Shell Earrings, £9.50+ from Asa Artshop

Asa Artshop is a Black-owned jewellery shop based in Exeter and run by student Lauren who handmakes the pieces in her spare time. I am a sucker for anything with shells on so these earrings look lovely to me. Her items tend to sit in the £10-20 range and often feature shells, pearls or monstera leaves.

Hand Painted Pet Portrait T-Shirt, £25 from We Are Hairy People

Have you ever taken a picture of your pet and wished you could wear it, it was so good? Well, now you can. We Are Hairy People paint ethically made, organic cotton t-shirts by hand. They can take a photo of your pet and illustrate it on a t-shirt, either in the style above or in even more detail for £40. Anthem’s Eleanor recently purchased one of these and loves it!

‘Sea Celebration’ Two Colour A4 Screen Print, £25 from Bryony Moss

Anthem’s Sian says: “Bryony Moss is a London based illustrator who makes gorgeous designs featuring soft tones, ladies in swimming costumes, and her gorgeous greyhound Albert. I for one have been lusting after this pickle patch for a good while now.”

Rose De’Ville Beret, £28 from House De’Ville

Anthem’s Sian says: “If you want to buy clothes ethically but are not a tiny flat chested mouse woman, it can be really hard, especially when it comes to vintage. But this Margate based online vintage shop has options for mid-size women, as well as a newly launched range of velvet pinafore dresses. Personally, I’ve got my eye on a beret.”

London Map Jigsaw Puzzle, £12 from Very Puzzled

This is a great item for families or friends with children; it’s a jigsaw puzzle of the London map but detailed with Black culture and history in the city. Very Puzzled create jigsaw puzzles with an aim to provide fun and discussion, allowing for a new way to learn. I think these are so clever and original and have such a lovely design too.

Okra Print Double Oven Glove, £25 from Village and Home

If you don’t think you or someone you know could do with replacing their tattered old oven glove, you are lying to yourself. Thankfully, this gorgeous ‘grapefruit pink’ oven glove will solve that. Village and Home are a company inspired by Africa and the Caribbean, and have a few different designs including okra, scotch bonnet peppers and plantain.

2022 Travel Calendar, £22 from Amber Davenport

For the travel lover in your life, this beautifully illustrated calendar from Amber Davenport’s shop is a great choice. Amber creates and sells art, homeware and accessories from Manchester. Her astrology, nature and personalised prints are all really stylish. I also love this little lemon printed to-do list.

Diva Duo 2 x A4 Risograph Prints, £20 from Hattie Clark

I’ve admittedly had my eye on these dancing diva prints for a while – what can I say, I love pink. Hattie Clark is a Leeds based illustrator who loves “drawing inky type, wobbly people and animals in various oversized accessories (mainly hats)”. Her prints and cards are wonderful, and even her stickers like this little disco diva have a really lovely quality to them.

Grey Satin Lined Bobble Hat, £22 from Black Sunrise

Black Sunrise make hats, hoodies and accessories lined with satin to help protect natural hair. The idea being that on the outside, this looks like a typical, cute bobble hat but is actually one that won’t damage the hair underneath thanks to it’s lining. They make hats for kids and babies as well as adults and have a number of vegan friendly products too.

Tights, £9.99+ from Snag Tights

Anthem’s Sian says: “Have you always wished you could swoosh along an autumn strewn path wearing brightly coloured tights that actually fit? Is your crotch always sagging? Scarred by years of wearing bad uncomfy tights to school? Snag Tights are designed to actually fit you, have inclusive sizing, and their production is carbon neutral. I am obsessed.” We love a practical gift and to make it more festive, you could choose a pair from their Christmas collection.

Personalised Flower Press, £34 from Bombus

I love the idea of being able to keep meaningful flowers for longer than a week. Sure, you could stack thirty books atop a piece of kitchen roll in the corner of your room for a week. You could also use a sweet little wooden flower press with your name on it with the same result. I think these could make lovely gifts for friends, family or the green-fingered gardeners in your life.

Starry Scarf, £25 from Rosi Tooth

One of my lovely friends bought me a Rosi Tooth print this year for my birthday and I have it above my desk so I can look at the cute, smiling mountains and sun whenever I get a bit stressed. Rosi is a Bristol-based illustrator with a focus on being a woman, mental health and body shaming. Maybe I just love inanimate objects with faces on but I think this starry scarf is adorable. She also sells her prints and incredible made-to-order cloud rugs (yes, they have faces too).

So there you have it! Plenty of gift ideas to get you thinking for the holiday season. We hope you’ve found some new small businesses in the UK to keep an eye on. Here’s to a Merry Christmas for us all and a happy and prosperous new year! Big love to you all from Anthem.

Words by Briony Brake with contributions from Sian Brett and Eleanor Manley
Images from respective sellers.

Where Can I Get Help? Mental Health Services in the UK

It is okay to reach out and ask for help if you need it, or even just want it. It might not be easy but there is definitely something or someone out there that will be able to help you.

We always try to be candid about mental health here at Anthem, and we thought now would be a good time to share a little more practical information on how you can get help in the UK. We are incredibly lucky to have access to the NHS and we all deserve to use it. So below, Lauren and Jess have pulled together some information and resources for you, should you need.

Knowing Your Signs 

Everyone’s experience of mental health is different, it is important that we can recognise our own signs that we might not be doing so good, or the ‘bad days’ are getting more frequent. How do you notice that things aren’t going well? Perhaps you find personal care or day-to-day tasks more difficult, become more withdrawn or have trouble remembering things for example. Also think about how other people around you might be able to pick up on signs you need support. Consider talking to trusted family/friends/professionals about things to look out for that might mean you need support or are becoming unwell.

Asking for help when you need it is one of the hardest things ever, and you should be so proud if you have allowed yourself the space to recognise that you can’t do it alone. You are doing so well already. Unfortunately, there are likely to be setbacks throughout the process. People may not listen to you, therapists may not be a good fit, and if you choose to start medication, they may not work right away. It is important to remember that it is all part of the process. You need to find what doesn’t work for you to work out what does. Trust in your ability to know yourself and what you are feeling. Don’t let these setbacks stop you from getting to the ultimate goal: feeling strong, capable and happy.

What Services Are Available To Me?

One of the best ways to explore your options is with a GP appointment. You will have the opportunity to discuss how you are feeling and any issues you are experiencing. They will be able to help you explore your appointments and advise you of the best course of treatment, or combination of treatments based on your individual needs. If you need further support, they will be able to refer you for this and/or put you in touch with other local services that can help you get the support you need. 

(If you are shielding or cannot leave home for your appointment, during covid restrictions, many practices are offering telephone consultations.)

If your GP believes you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression, they may want to prescribe you medication to deal with this. This can be a lengthy process as they need to get the dosage right and it can take several weeks for your body to acclimate to each change. Nonetheless, many people find this helpful to regulate their mood better and/or as a basis so that they can begin working through the things causing these symptoms. 

Increasingly, many local services offer the option of a self-referral, meaning that you don’t have to get a GP to contact them on your behalf to start treatment.

A great way to see what options are available in your local area is through the NHS website, which can tell you what services exist near you based on your postcode. You will also be able to see which ones you can refer yourself to without needing to see a doctor, although of course this is still advisable.

Another possibility is looking for services within your school, university or workplace. Many of these institutions now provide counselling and signposting services and it is a great idea to use this support as appointments with the NHS may take some time. Have a look on their website and you may be surprised to find a whole load of resources that could help you get on the right track.

In A Crisis 

If you are in an emergency (e.g. you are hurt or considering hurting yourself or someone else) the NHS advice is to always call 999 but your local health service will also have a mental health crisis helpline which you can find out more about here:

Finding an urgent local helpline

There are also specialist teams called Crisis Teams who can help you, these are often aimed at people who have been especially referred. You can find out more about this on Mind’s website:

How Can I Access A Crisis Team?

What is a Crisis Team? and How To Plan For a Crisis

You can also request emergency GP appointments, and of course, when necessary attend A&E if you need to. Mind have an easy to read guide if you want to know more about when you should go to A&E:

When should I go to A&E and how could it help me?

If the idea of calling the police or a GP is daunting, there are also other options. Samaritans are specially trained to listen and help you talk about what you are going through. This can be kept totally anonymous if you want it to and there is no judgement or pressure to get well. If you are part of a school or university, there is another charity called Nightline that can offer a similar service which is student-led. 

Safety Planning

It is a good idea, when you’re feeling well, to consider making a safety plan for when you are struggling. One place you can do this is StayingSafe.net. Clicking on ‘safety plan’ at the top of the page gives you the option to download a blank template or fill out electronically on the website, with lots of helpful ideas.

Self-Help And Online Mental Health Support

Whilst the zoom era is not for everybody, having to stay at home a lot for the past year has had some positives. Much mental health support is taking place online over video platforms like Microsoft Teams, and where possible some appointments are taking place over the phone. This means if you are someone who finds it daunting to go to these places to access help, you are now more likely to be able to engage with these services from the comfort of your own home. 

Secondly, there are a wealth of mental health resources online. This is great if you are wanting to take some steps to improve your mental wellbeing whilst waiting for a referral, want something to do alongside therapy, or perhaps, you just want to see what it is like!

One place I would personally recommend is CCI (Center For Clinical Interventions.) This Australian Govt. webpage has an extensive amount of self-help resources on all kinds of mental health topics from self-esteem and self-compassion, to anxiety and perfectionism. They are free to download PDF workbooks available as single sessions and whole booklets, that you can complete at your own pace. They are based on a CBT kind of approach, but slightly different, and really useful if you want to get to grips with understanding yourself better and how to improve your emotional health. 

I recently finished my second programme of CBT which lasted three months, and following this I have chosen some CCI modules to look at after being recommended by my therapist. I’m currently half way through the self-compassion modules and finding that in conjunction with the therapy it’s given me a new perspective to understand and work on my anxiety and depression.

A quick and easy option for many people these days is the variety of mental health-based apps now available across all platforms. Some of these are based on mindfulness and meditation practices such as Headspace which many use daily to help regulate stress and sleep. There are also apps that specifically target urges to self-harm (e.g. BlueIce), offer mood-tracking (e.g. Moodnotes or Catch it) and aim to reframe negative thoughts or worries (e.g. WorryTree). These apps are a nice way of making self-help fun, interesting and can be easier to incorporate into your lifestyle than regular therapy sessions. The NHS has a great list of similar apps here, all of which are free and mostly informed by mental health research. 

Mental Health At Work

If you are working, and your job is becoming difficult due to your mental health, there is help you can access. For example attending an appointment with occupational health who can help you outline if there are any adjustments your employer needs to make for you in regards to your mental health (information on this here). Some organisations also offer in-house mental health support for employees, or have helplines that you can ring; it is worth checking out if your company has these resources available. 

Telling your work that you are struggling can be very scary, so it might be a good idea to start with someone from work that you know and trust. Starting the conversation tends to be the hardest part, but once you know you have someone in your corner, it gets easier.

A Note On Physical Health And Disability In The Context Of Mental Health 

As cliché as it sounds, physical health and mental health go hand in hand. 

As much as you can, make sure you are meeting your basic physical needs (food and drink, good sleep hygiene, exercise (doesn’t have to be the gym! Or anything too strenuous) will go a long way in making you feel more confident in addressing your emotional needs. If you are able to maintain your physical health you will be in a better place to develop and use coping strategies to look after yourself mentally. This obviously means that people who are experiencing physical difficulties can be vulnerable to mental health difficulties too. 

 If you are experiencing physical ill health, don’t hesitate  to book appointments with a doctor. If you have a disability or physical health needs, regularly consulting with your GP and multi-disciplinary health professionals to make sure you have the support you need can also help maintain mental resilience too. From experience I know that it is easy to just get used to “accepting” physical pain and difficulties, as well as mental health issues relating to disability rather than continuing to push for help, as this can be a frustrating and arduous process.

It is important that if you are experiencing problems having your voice heard it may be relevant for you to contact your local advocate. (For example Healthwatch.) If you have learning or physical disabilities, or conditions that may mean you need someone to help you put your views and best interests.

There is further information on the NHS website. Other useful organisations include Scope and Mencap.

This is a lot of information to take in but our aim here is to provide you with all the information you might need in one place, so it’s all a little less complicated and overwhelming. You can save this link for when you feel you might need it or you can explore some of the options now if you’re ready. 

It can’t be overstated that there is no shame in seeking out help. Sometimes, it might take a few tries and you might need to explore what works for you in the long term but it is doable and it will be worth it. To reiterate Jess’s words from before, “Don’t let setbacks stop you from getting to the ultimate goal: feeling strong, capable and happy.”

Words by Lauren Katie, Jessica Yang and Briony Brake

Five Feminist Actions You Can Do Now

I wanted to mark the fifth anniversary of Anthem by suggesting some feminist actions that you can do, right here, right now. 

Being a woman can often feel like a lonely road, or that the world is against you, but the thing is that we’re stronger together. 

1. Donate period products to your local food bank 

Whilst adding some food to the food bank box in the supermarket may be built into your routine, period products (and bath products) are often forgotten, leaving many women without sanitary products. 

We all know how annoying it can be to forget a tampon, but for many women, living without period products is just a reality, and can often lead to young girls skipping school. Companies like Bloody Good Period fight for menstrual equity for all.

You can also donate to beauty banks, which aim to end hygiene poverty. They’re selling make up bags, and 100% of the profits go directly to beauty banks. 

2. Support all women

Being a feminist is about making sure everyone is involved in the equality conversation, not just those of us who are white, middle class, cis gendered. 

GLADD and Amnesty have some great resources on being a trans ally. There’s power in language too. How inclusive is your email signature? Your instagram bio? If you put your pronouns in your bio or email signature you not only normalise it but you send out a message that you’re an ally. You could also donate to Mermaids UK, who do great work supporting young trans people. 

3. Protest with your money 

Unfortunately, we’re still living in a capitalist hell-scape, but what this does mean that where you spend your money has power. Did you know that 80% of textile workers in the world are women of colour? Often working in incredibly unsafe and unfair conditions.  

By buying ethically and sustainably, you are demonstrating to big brands and fashion labels that you do not endorse their poor treatment of women (and men) and that change needs to happen. 

You could buy second hand on sites like depop, good old charity shops, or look to brands like Birdsong who pay the women who make their clothes a fair price. 

Aisling Bea’s Instagram is jam packed full of good recommendations like this, and the website Good on You will give you a rating for every clothing brand based on how sustainable and ethical they are. 

4. Educate yourself about other experiences

If your feminism isn’t intersectional then it just isn’t feminism. 

Just like it’s important to support all women, it’s important to learn more, educate ourselves, and open our world view beyond our lived experience. Books like Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers Rights, I Am Not Your Baby Mother, websites like Gal-Dem, all of these can widen our understanding and help us to understand that whilst the fight may feel like it’s in a good place for some of us, for many women there’a long way to go.

Co-Anthemer Amber has written an article on 5 books about intersectional feminism, which you should definitely check out. 

5. Take care of yourself 

Self care is radical, as a very wise best friend once told me. As a woman, companies profit from your unhappiness, from every advert that makes you feel old or fat or sad so that you buy their product, from every time you are over tired from all the extra household labour you’re doing (even more so during the pandemic), and from every time you are not paid enough as your male counterpart. 

Before it got hijacked by wellness companies and became synonymous with having a bath, self care was a already considered a protest by women like Audre Lorde: 

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

Speak up, respect yourself, look after yourself. The world won’t know what’s hit it. 

Words by Sian Brett

Five Feminist Books For Your TBR

Like a lot of millennial women, my introduction to feminism was via the internet. And while there’s an ever-growing plethora of resources available to us online, I found my knowledge and interest really piqued when I delved into feminist literature. If there’s a feminist book to be had, I’ll sniff it out.

Whether you’re just starting out or you consider yourself well read, I’m hoping there’s something on this list for everyone.

1. Ain’t I A Woman by bell hooks (1981)

Also the author of ‘Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center’ (1984) and other seminal pieces, Ain’t I A Woman is bell hooks’ first published book. Ain’t I A Woman examines the intersection between race and sex; specifically the misogynoir faced by Black women for centuries and how this came to be. bell hooks emphasises in this book that race and gender are intertwined and challenges the way we turn a blind eye to this in society. This book is divided into five sections, my personal favourite being ‘Racism and Feminism: The Issue of Accountability’, in which hooks critiques white feminism and the areas in which it lacks, as well as examining the issue of class – an intersection which is often ignored in social justice discussions.

2. Women, Race & Class by Angela Davis (1981)

Angela Davis is an iconic activist, educator, campaigner and abolitionist. Her wealth of personal experience and knowledge place Davis’s work as a pivotal part of the feminist landscape. In Women, Race & Class, Davis examines different movements throughout history, including women’s suffrage, anti-slavery and communism, offering critiques of the former and how it excluded Black women. As the title suggests, there is in-depth analysis of how gender, race and class intersect and how it cannot be debated that they are inextricably linked. This book is all-encompassing without being intimidating and I found it difficult to put down.  

3. Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture by Roxane Gay (2018)

This anthology by Roxane Gay spoke to me on a different level as a survivor. With essays on topics ranging from child abuse to street harassment, there is a piece in this book that I’m sure every woman can relate to. The brutal honesty and openness of the writers really drew me in and I love the variety of voices Roxane picked for this book; there are essays by 29 different writers, including Brandon Taylor, Gabrielle Union, AJ McKenna and Aubrey Hirsch. This book is a great example of how we can be inclusive in discussions surrounding rape culture and shows us just how many complex experiences exist outside of the white feminist perspective. 

4. Can We All Be Feminists? By June Eric-Udorie (2018)

This intersectional anthology would be a great starting place for somebody just getting started in the feminist sphere. June Eric-Udorie has pieced together a very approachable piece of work which amplifies the voices of women with a variety of lived experiences. Expect essays by trans women, fat women, disabled women, queer women, Black and Asian women, such as Juliet Jacques, Brit Bennett, Afua Hirsch and Wei Ming Kam. 

5. Your Silence Will Not Protect You by Audre Lorde (2017)

Audre Lorde was a self-proclaimed “Black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet” and continues to be a well-esteemed writer in the feminist realm. This collection, pre-faced by Reni Eddo-Lodge, includes 13 of Lorde’s essays and 17 of her poems, including her seminal work ‘The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House’. Audre Lorde’s work is confrontational and unashamedly honest, leading me as a white woman to question existing beliefs I had about Black women. Her rage is palpable and powerful and I especially felt this in ‘Sexism: An American Disease in Blackface’, where Lorde examines issues specifically faced by Black women and the power Black men hold in the fight for Black women’s equality.

I hope you will pick up at least one of these books to broaden your horizons, and of course share with us the books that have shaped your feminist knowledge! 

Words and image by Amber Berry

Five Feminist Films For Five Years Of Anthem

The only way to start this article is to wish Anthem a huge happy 5^th birthday. It has been a joy to write for Anthem over the last five years and to read all the wonderful pieces written by an array of intelligent and talented writers. Anthem excels when it talks about mental health, and the writing around mental health during the pandemic has been a comfort to me and I’m sure to many others, and it seems like a fitting time to say thank you for making me less alone. Like with any great writer I get flutter of excitement when I see another Anthem article arrive on my Twitter feed as I know I will always find myself laughing in recognition, screaming with familiar anger, or quickly googling to discover more about that, book, film, play, artwork, or campaign. 

Whenever I’m asked to make a list of my top favourite films, I start enthusiastically and then quickly become panicked, as I go blank and realise there are too many great films to condense into a top five. And this is exactly what happened to me when I volunteered to write about five feminist films to celebrate Anthem’s birthday.

I immediately listed some of my favourite films, and then needed to make sure that these were indeed feminist films by applying both the Bechdel test and the new F-Rating scheme which was developed by the Bath Film Festival and is being used in cinemas across the country, including my beloved local independent cinema the Showroom. I am confident in declaring that the five films I have whittled down for this piece can be awarded an F-rating and do pass the Bechdel test. 

Practical Magic (1998) (Director: Griffin Dunne)

Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock star as Sally and Gillian Owen, two witches raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, who face prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them finding lasting love. For me, this film is pure comfort, a comfort I share with my mum and sister and on the rare occasion (pre-lockdown) we are all under the same roof, we gather the wine and the popcorn and press play. On first watch it is easy to see this film as just a classic 90s rom-com, and at the time of its release, critics gave it a bad rap because they couldn’t pin it down by genre. It was neither a straightforward horror nor a romantic comedy; even the creators struggled to know how to market the film. However, over the last twenty-two years it has gained a cult status and has become a firm feminist favourite for its themes of sisterhood, understanding abusive relationships, motherhood, matriarchy, and the power of women coming together to support and protect each other.

I cannot remember a time when this film was not in my life and whether I am watching it with or without my sister I always feel closer to her, never failing to shed a tear when Sally pleas with Gillian to fight for her life for her own sake and for her sister. This film will always have a special place in my heart for introducing me to the music of Joni Mitchell and Stevie Nicks and the lifelong goal of making the perfect margarita!  

RBG (2018) (Directors: Julie Cohen & Betsy West)

The documentary charts the personal and professional life of the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg. We see her determination given to her by her mother, her passion for the law and how she used it to change the lives of American women and her inspiring marriage of equality to her husband Marty Ginsburg. As well as interviews with the woman herself we hear from her colleagues in the supreme court, law students who have been inspired by her and have raised her to icon status by dubbing her the notorious RBG. We also hear from her children and grandchildren, some of whom have followed in her footsteps into the world of law.

I saw this documentary at a special screening at the Showroom cinema with my mum and sister at Christmas 2018 when I was thinking about studying law and by the end of this film my decision was made (even though when studying land law that decision is often questioned). With her passing in September 2020, this film has become a memorial to an iconic woman who used her intelligence and passion for the law to challenge the status quo and truly change women’s lives for the better. 

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) (Director: Céline Sciamma)

On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to a paint a wedding portrait of a young woman. This was one of many films that I missed seeing at the cinema because of the pandemic and impatiently waited for it to be digitally released. It turned out to be the perfect film for two queer women to watch on a rainy Sunday in lockdown.

I have seen so many romantic films centred around an artist and their muse but as with so many romances, they have been the domain of straight protagonists, and it wasn’t until I watched Marianne and Héloïse’s romance unfold that I realised how perfect this conceit is when exploring queer love in eighteenth century France. Céline Sciamma understands that for queer women, what may be isolating for most becomes a safe space to love. But an expansive seascape is not always the most freeing place to express your true feelings as, with all films watched during these strange times, you find yourself seeing a scarf as not an inconsequential costume choice but a fashionable form of PPE.  

Rocks (2019) (Director: Sarah Gavron)

A teenage girl finds herself struggling to look after herself and her younger brother after being abandoned by their single mother with no choice but to live out on the streets. 

It is no wonder that Bukky Bakray won the EE Rising Star at this year’s BAFTAs, as it is her performance as the young ‘Rocks’ that gives this story its heart. Rocks never doubts her mother’s love or that she will return to look after her and her little brother and it is up to her friends, including her best friend Sumaya, played by the BAFTA-nominated Kosar Ali, to persuade her to seek help from the grown-ups in their lives. The penultimate train scene is what made me put this film on the list, as it is a perfect portrait of teenage girls comforting each other through laughter and love even when they are unsure of what tomorrow will bring. 

Promising Young Woman (2020) (Director: Emerald Fennell)

A young woman traumatised by a tragic event in her past seeks out vengeance against those who crossed her path. This film couldn’t be more prescient at its time of release, with violence against women once again making the news in the UK, with women speaking out, joined together by grief and trauma.

It is a film that, unsurprisingly, has sparked debate, which the director Emerald Fennell has welcomed even though she worried that a fight between audience members about the ending at a test screening would stop the film from ever being released. It is this ending which has had viewers divided and why it took me a few days to process my thoughts about the film as whole – from what I expected from the trailer to what I felt as the credits rolled. Women may not be united in their feelings as Fletcher’s song Last Laugh starts the ends credits but sadly will be united in recognition of the culture that Cassie finds herself fighting against and the anger that powers her through that fight. 

There are so many films that I could have put onto this list of feminist films, and with every birthday Anthem celebrates I can hopefully add one more to a list that is thankfully ever growing. However, as a true feminist I am going to break the rules and add some special mentions that I have discovered this year and that I keep returning to: The United States Vs. Billie Holiday, Suffragette, The Hours, Erin Brockovich, Thelma & Louise, Working Girl, When Harry Met Sally, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, Lady Bird, Little Women, Wonder Woman, 20^th Century Women, Belle, Hidden Figures, Wadjda, Wild, 9 to 5, Booksmart, Roma, Becoming and so many more. 

As I am writing this piece the day of the Oscars it seems fitting to celebrate the most inclusive awards season to date, with four of the five Best Director nominations at the BAFTAs being given to a woman. It is cause for celebration that the Academy Awards have finally broken their 93-year record by nominating two women in the Best Director category including the first Asian-American woman to be nominated (and win!). As is just and true of the talent seen this year and in so many years gone by, nearly half of the top acting nominations have been awarded to people of colour, including Viola Davis which cements her as the most Oscar nominated Black actress ever, with 4 nominations. In comparison Meryl Streep is the most nominated white actress with 20 nominations, and in its 93 years, only seven women have ever been nominated for Best Director at the Academy Awards. Therefore, as ever, it important when talking about inclusivity to know when to celebrate and when to keep pushing more, knowing that we can and must do both. 

Words by Lara Scott
Images from Warner Bros., Netflix, Hulu, Altitude Film Entertainment, Merie Weismiller Wallace, SMPSP, Takashi Seida

Five Feminists To Follow

As a millennial, Instagram has been one of the places where I’ve learned the most about feminism and issues pertaining to social justice. The following five women have been key in this and I think you’ll agree they’re all amazing in their own ways.

Munroe Bergdorf (@munroebergdorf)

Munroe Bergdorf is a trans activist, writer, model and much more. She has been featured in multiple publications including Time, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Attitude. You may have also seen Munroe in 2018 on ‘Genderquake: The Debate’ (Channel 4), where she clapped back at blatant transphobia from an audience member.

Munroe posts regularly about pertinent social issues including racism, transphobia and homophobia, and gives guidance on what we can do as allies. Munroe’s feed has been an important place in my learning about these issues and her voice as a mixed race trans woman is incredibly important to listen to. Look out for Munroe’s book Transitional, coming out this year!

Ruby Rare (@rubyrare)

Ruby is a queer, non-monogamous writer, sex educator, artist and ambassador for Brook (a sexual health charity). She also co-founded the Body Love Sketch Club (@bodylovesketchclub). Ruby is unashamed in the way she speaks about things and she often dispels myths around topics that can be seen as ‘controversial’.

I admire Ruby’s openness and she has challenged the way I think about so many topics, including body hair, periods and sex toys. Ruby published an incredible book last year called Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults, which covers everything sex related from orgasms to blow jobs, solo sex to queer sex. 

Gina Martin (@ginamartin)

Gina Martin is best known for being the amazing woman who successfully campaigned to make upskirting illegal in 2019 – upon which she based a TED Talk. Gina is a writer, advocate, activist and speaker and is also an ambassador for UN Women UK. She has written for publications including Grazia and The Telegraph and also published a book, Be The Change, in 2019, which is a guide for beginner activists.

Gina is an amazing person to follow if you like to stay up to date with relevant political events and campaigns and like to get involved with making change. She regularly hands over her platform to others to uplift their voices and uses her voice as an ally to spread awareness of important issues such as race and police brutality.

Essie Dennis (@khal_essie)

Essie Dennis is a queer writer, model and artist. I’ve been following Essie for years now and I never get bored with her content, whether it’s cute outfit reels or feminism related posts. Essie uses her platform to speak on issues such as chronic and mental illness, body image, unrealistic beauty standards, sexism and queerness.

Essie played a huge part in my learning about diet culture and how to resist it. She has recently started a newsletter called The Body Happiness Chat and also does a weekly TikTok round up on her story, which I thoroughly enjoy watching – mostly for the cute animals. 

Liv Callaghan (@selfloveliv)

Liv is a clothing brand owner and advocate for mental health awareness. I started following Liv when I was starting out on my journey to accepting and loving my body. Liv is one of the most relatable people you could follow; she often posts ‘unflattering’ pictures of herself and regularly asks her followers to share their embarrassing stories on her Instagram story – she honestly feels like a friend.

Liv also happens to have bipolar disorder, which she is incredibly open and honest about. She has dispelled many a myth surrounding the illness with her unashamed posts. There’s also frequent discussions on her page about body image, self love and styling clothes as a plus-sized woman. 

Let us know if you go and follow any of these incredible women and leave your suggestions for who to follow down below!

Words by Amber Berry
Images from Amber Berry, Poppy Chancellor, The Guardian, DIVA Mag, Stylist, Essie Dennis and Liv Callaghan

Why I’m Cautiously Looking Forward to the World Opening Up Again

It feels quite stressful to imagine being in a huge shopping centre food court, surrounded by groups of friends and families and thousands of idle shoppers on a Sunday afternoon now but that’s what I used to do. I used to wander through a bustling street market in East London and decide on a whim to get my eyebrows threaded in Superdrug on the way home. I used to sit in half-full cinemas with strangers on Saturday mornings (the best time to go) and run around the underground to see friends or siblings or to explore London on my own.

With the UK government’s roadmap for April, May and beyond, it finally feels as if we might actually be on the right track out of lockdown living. Outdoor picnics and sports have already returned, cinemas are planned to open in May, clubs and bars and even indoor dining are set to return in summer. It’s so exciting to imagine our usual social lives returning. I could go to a festival or book a holiday (as if these are things I normally do). I could meet a friend for dinner in a chain restaurant and get tipsy on £5 espresso martinis or accidentally order a whole bottle of wine instead of two glasses (these things I actually do).

Looking ahead to April, I am actually planning to meet a friend or two for an outdoors walk with a coffee, and an outdoor picnic with no more than two friends at a time. This is partly because my social life doesn’t normally involve hanging out with six or more people at once anyway but partly because I’m still shit scared of catching and spreading coronavirus.

It’s been over a year of working from home. It’s been over a year of wearing masks in public and learning which hand sanitisers to avoid because they’re sticky or reek of alcohol. I have grown used to not travelling and eating out and spending time with thirty odd colleagues in an open plan office. My body has unfortunately grown used to not getting my several thousand steps a day minimum from living and working in London, and both my mind and body seem to have gotten used to spending a lot more time alone.

I’ve declined a lot of virtual social events over the last year because I just couldn’t find the energy for it. On multiple occasions I have felt like I’ve hit a wall with how much more I can talk. I have even found myself feeling slightly irritated on occasion when people have repeatedly asked me how I am or how my day is going because I didn’t have anything new to say. It can feel slightly Truman Show-esque to say the same few phrases every few hours. ‘Fine’, ‘busy’, ‘good’.

All of this is to say that one of my main concerns for life returning in so many places is that I’m going to be so exhausted from it all. I’ve not been spending hours walking or exercising so when I return to running around London and racking up the steps on a day out, I’m going to really notice it. I know it’s going to wipe me out if I don’t ease myself in. Similarly, seeing one friend for a coffee and a walk will be tiring but meeting a few for a picnic or meeting two people in one weekend or even in one day… I can only apologise in advance to my own brain and body. It’s going to be a lot.

On top of these concerns about how inactive and introverted I have become, there are the slightly more commonplace concerns that the virus still exists and is still infecting people. I have stayed very safe over the last year because I have felt as though catching it would mean I couldn’t see my family, so I’ve avoided a lot of things out of this fear I created for myself. It’s going to stay with me for a while, I’m sure. I’m going to be afraid of packed places and tubes and people partying together and not wearing masks, whether I like it or not. This is stressful stuff.

No-one’s fears around this period of time, whether they look like mine or not, are unfounded or silly. We’ve been made to feel guilty and panicked by crap news outlets and Boris Johnson’s awful government for a year. That’s an insane amount of time to be made to feel guilty in when you didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. We’ve been constantly berated with bad news and death figures and press conferences and adverts to make us feel bad for the NHS being overwhelmed (yet more poor behaviour from the current government but that’s for another day!). It’s no wonder so many of us are feeling uncertain about the future. What we’ve lived through is absolutely bonkers and we’re not even fully processing it yet because it’s not even over yet.

Our fears and concerns are valid and I think it’s important we remember that as we cautiously start to enjoy things again. After all, we need to get outside in the sunshine again and we need to see our friends and families and to enjoy the arts and all the things that make the less good parts of life worth plodding through.

I am going to do my best to be aware of my boundaries and my friends’ and family’s as we all attempt to revive our social lives in the great outdoors (and indoors). Whether it’s the local cinema on opening night or at a birthday party of our nearest and dearest, I’m very nervous but I know how good it’s going to feel to be back in those places I love so much.

Words by Briony Brake

Feminism For Show: What Can Men Really Do To Support Women?

Content warning: consent and assault

The other day, I watched a TikTok of a young woman explaining why International Women’s Day was just another act of feminism which made women do all the work to lift and support women. It infuriated me at first but I realised she was right. Every year, we celebrate International Women’s Day by posting pictures on social media or writing about the women in our life. In my personal experience, it is usually women sharing these posts. I will tap through 10 Stories from women sharing love for their female friends but barely any from men. It’s annoying to think about isn’t it?

Another thing that happened recently was finding an assault alarm I was given in school before heading off to university. I went to an all girls school and the talk was given by an older man, for some reason. We had to sit through pretend situations and examples of all the bad things that could happen to us at university but no man I’ve spoken to yet has told me they experienced a similar talk or were provided with alarms to keep them safe at university. When I told some female colleagues recently about this experience, they all nodded knowingly because they’d had the same stupid talk.

Unsurprisingly, this memory angers me. I think about it quite a lot because I recall that older man suggesting what we wore could impact our safety, as young women, when we left home and decided to foolishly try and enjoy university experiences like our male counterparts might. This is a completely backward way to approach assault rates. When the majority of cases are against women, why are we putting all our efforts into women and telling them how not to be victims as if they have control over it? Why isn’t that man giving talks at all boys schools about consent and victim blaming and assault and how to look out for dodgy behaviour from your male friends?

https://twitter.com/lilbirdey/status/1367046429135433734

I spoke to a few of my friends who are women, all of varying ages and experiences, about this, and we all got quite angry, obviously. Most of them, myself included, had been assaulted by a man at some point in our life or mistreated in a relationship or had spent an unsettling amount of time arguing with men about our basic rights. I’m assuming any men who opened this article are now considering closing it again as I begin to criticise the behaviour of a very large group of men. But that’s the problem.

I thought about all these terrible experiences we’d all had and about all these faux feminism tactics which end up back in the laps of women as yet more work to be done. I want to support women and I will still use International Women’s Day as an excuse to celebrate the wonderful women in my life but if the conversation and the fight is only ever made up of women, we’re not going to get anywhere. Unfortunately, we all know that’s not how this works. For feminism to succeed, we need the men who support us and who call themselves feminists to do more.

“Deeds, not words” is an iconic feminist slogan, thanks to Emmeline Pankhurst and her daughters, and it’s very appropriate here. I’ve had a lot of arguments about feminism with men in the past, whether it’s people I’ve worked with, friends or boyfriends. I’m a bit sick of doing all the work, I’ll be honest. If you are a man and you identify as a feminist (which you should), then I will personally no longer be settling for you saying ‘Yes’ when I ask you if you’re a feminist; I should not have to ask. You need to be doing more.

‘Feminism for show’ is something I mentioned in one of those angry conversations I had with a friend. I was describing how the men I’ve known in my life have had a tendency to say they’re feminist and follow it up with absolutely nothing. They will not back me up, they will not hear me out, they will not support my issues as a woman, they will not speak up and they will not talk to their friends who are displaying misogynist behaviour. It’s feminism to get in your good books which means, you guessed it, it isn’t feminism.

So what can men actually do to show their feminism? Well pretty much the opposite of everything I just said. You can support women, stand by them and back them up, even if it is regarding issues that do no affect you. You can listen. You can listen to women and believe them (rather than arguing with them about their real-life experiences). You can speak up and call out people displaying misogynistic behaviour.

You might think you don’t know anyone displaying misogynistic behaviours but the statistics are not in your favour. Look at your male friends and listen to how they talk about women, whether it’s out-of-reach celebrities or their own girlfriends and exes. Maybe your friends are fine but it doesn’t hurt to pay attention to that sort of behaviour or to look out for it. You might also think you’re at risk of seeming uncool for calling out friends but then, quite simply, you probably don’t want to be friends with people who want to be allowed to call women bad words. My friends would call me out if I was behaving badly and your friends should too.

I thought I would check with friends to see what they thought men could do to support women because it’s not all about what I think but you know what? They all said exactly the same thing. See below.

Another thing flagged to me by one of these great women was that no men answered my question. It’s quite sad to me to think that my one passion in life and the one thing that I genuinely feel strongly about on a daily basis – feminism – probably doesn’t even cross most of my male friend’s minds in a week. It’s everything to me. I want to be making a difference but really I’m only getting through to women; I’m not getting through to any men because they’re not listening to me. Because the system has been in their favour for so long, men still aren’t putting in the work to help even though they could. Even though their help, particularly in helping other men understand would make more of an impact than I could.

If you are a man who has made it this far, and you take anything away from this, it should be that your actions and words can have more of an impact than you think. Whether it’s making sure a woman doesn’t get talked over during a meeting or telling your friend that sharing nudes a woman sent them is not okay (even though it’s not a crime in the UK – what the f*ck is that about?).

You can do small things with a big affect, if you want to. Remember, deeds, not words.

Words and image by Briony Brake